The Shack

I think I mentioned in a previous post - I've been doing a lot of reading lately. I've read self-help books, biographies, and even the occasional U.S. Weekly (that was for my husband:). But not until my most recent book, The Shack, has a book touched me so deeply. For some reason, I resisted the book at first. Maybe it was all the talk about the book, or maybe it was just the name that didn't appeal to me. Whatever it was, each time my husband mentioned the book, I would say it didn't interest me. Last week I had just finished a wonderful book titled - There is no me without you, by Melissa Fay Greene. It is a heart wrenching story of one woman's odyssey to rescue her country's children (got that straight off the book;). It is about Ethiopia and the the millions of children that are homeless and in orphanages. They have either lost their parent's to Aids, or their parents cannot afford to take care of them any longer. Very sad story, but one that makes me even more determined that adoption is God's plan for us. My dad said it best - when I told him we were considering adopting a child from Ethiopia - and can I just say he was one I was the most scared to tell. He looked at me and said every child deserves a chance. I couldn't believe it, it made me even more determined! So, if you get the chance, and like to read, this is a great book.

Back to The Shack...I researched online (which I do for about everything) and tried to find another book about Ethiopia, Adoption, Aids, etc... and with a few books in mind, headed to Barnes & Noble to get a new book. Once there, they looked for every book I had on my list - oh, did I mention I ALWAYS make lists? haha When they couldn't find any of the books I was looking for, the very helpful lady at the customer service desk suggested a book. I think it was called, Mountain to Mountain. It is a true story about a Dr. that has spent his entire life trying to help those less fortunate. Sounded good, I took the book from her, and as I was headed to check out, The Shack was sitting on a table close to the front of the store. Again, did I mention that we have actually purchased this book before, loaned it to a friend on a trip, and he accidently left it on the plane? I've also picked this book up almost every time I've entered the book store and never purchased it. For some reason, this particular day, I had my book, I was ready to go lay by the pool and read, and The Shack was staring me in the face. My first thought was, I'll buy this for Brett, but I'll read it too because it is something that interests him. So I put my book down, thinking I'm doing my husband a "favor" and I check out. Once home, I put on my swimsuit and head to the pool. I have a new book, the weather is beautiful, and I'm laying on a raft relaxing...what could be better? Well, I guess Brett could have been there with me and that would have made it better :) But this day I was content...just to read and relax (which for those of you who know me, that is difficult for me). I started reading the book and before I knew it, I had been out there for almost 3 hours! I couldn't put it down. I was halfway through the book and consumed by it. I haven't had another chance to read (Pierce & Sierra came over Friday afternoon), until today. Sierra went to the lake with a friend, and Brett & Pierce were inside playing a video game. So I headed back to the pool, got my raft, and began reading again. By the time Brett came outside, I was crying...and I couldn't stop. This book hit me like a ton of bricks...talk about real! I told Brett it is the strangest feeling, I feel like I got more out of this book than I ever did the Bible. Maybe it is all the guilt I carry around, or maybe it is just the realness of our Heavenly Father - Papa. But whatever it is...I want to read it again, and again.From the book: ~Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction~ Man, I never thought of it that way - but with each chapter, I wept more. It was like a ton of bricks hitting me with the realization that we blame God for things that happen in our life. That we feel that he is punishing us when bad things happen, or that he could have stopped it from happening. One particular thing that touched me in this book was when God was talking to Mack... All evil flows from independence, and independence is your choice. If I were to simply revoke all the choices of independence, the world as you know it would cease to exist and love would have no meaning. This world is not a playground where I keep all my children free from evil. Evil is the chaos of this age that you brought to me, but it will not have the final say. Now it touches everyone that I love, those who follow me and those who don't. If I take away the consequences of people's choices, I destroy the possibility of love. Love that is forced is no love at all. WOW...how true that is. We "as humans" are the ones making the choices to make this world so destructive, but how easy it is to blame God. Why is it so darn hard just to love people RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE? I can tell you one thing, it makes you stop and take a good look at yourself. The all so "passive-aggressive" behavior that we at times possess. And to think, if we go to church, we're Christians? What does that mean? Growing up I went to church every Sunday with my grandmother...then when I became a single mother, once a week wasn't enough. I took my children Wednesday night, Sunday morning and Sunday night...well, good for me. I MUST have been a good Christian. NO, I wasn't, I was just going to church...but I didn't have a true relationship with God. It wasn't until I met my husband that I truly understood this. At first, it was a hard pill to swallow. But now, I know more than ever what it means to have a real relationship. It's a day-to-day, hour-by-hour, one-on-one, relationship. Brett talks to God like he is talking to me. I always thought that was weird (or he was weird:), until now. I SEE IT! I really see it. He IS our Father and we ARE his children. He wouldn't hurt his children anymore than we would hurt ours...and he hurts when we hurt. Whew...sorry for the Burleson sermon :), but I want to thank everyone who recommended this book. I may be a little slow...but I'm getting there. And THANK YOU to my new family for helping me along the way.