Path to Peace

I'm not sure how many of you click on the link "Path to Peace" on our blog, but I try and look at it every day. It is so simple, but yet very meaningful.

Today - April 29, 2008:
Anger is like an addiction,
Not only did we get upset
the first time,
but we go over and over it,
like watching reruns of a
favorite movie.

Boy, how true that is. It's easy to say forgive and forget, but not so easy to "actually" do it. I will be the first to admit I hang on to things way too long. As hard as I try, there is always that one thing nagging at me that I just can't let go of. I'm working on it, but man is it hard. I wish we were programmed to only remember the good things, but unfortunately, sometimes we tend to forget the good things because we're so adamant about hanging on to the bad.

This quote reminded me today how easy it is to let those negative things bring us down. Whether professionally or personally - it's a daily struggle most of us probably need to work on.

KB

Rehearsal Dinner Photo's

Here are a few photo's from Megan & Heath's Rehearsal Dinner. Here is a sneak peek at some wedding pics. Click Here

Unfortunately, Brett is always the one taking the pictures so he is never in them. We're going to have to work on that.

The BIG Day

Well, the wedding has come and gone. It was a beautiful wedding and the bride and groom did a great job of making sure everything was taken care of. From the rehearsal dinner, to the sparklers everyone held as they left the church in a limousine...it was complete.

Weddings are so elegant, but yet so stressful. I realize there are traditions, and certain things that are symbolic for the future, it's just that like so many things, weddings have become so materialistic. It is like they are an event for everyone else, instead of an act of love and affection for the bride and groom. Don't get me wrong, I loved our wedding, and would do it all over again - if for no other reason than to include our four children and make them a part of our lives together. But our wedding was very simple and inexpensive. Low-key, inexpensive weddings aren't the "norm" any more. It isn't unusual for a family to spend $20-$40k on a wedding for their daughter. And the poor bride stresses for months and then it is over in a couple of hours. Sounds like the "wedding service" business is the place to be! Can you imagine the money spent each year on weddings?

Our baby girl is married. She has a lot to look forward to and we are SO happy for her. Luckily, she didn't go overboard and spend her life savings on her wedding. She had a nice, classy wedding and memories to last a lifetime. And the best part of all, were the things only a mother and daughter can experience. I had saved the baby bonnet Megan wore the day she was born. I gave it to her on her wedding day - something old. I also made her a scrapbook starting with the day she was born, to her new beginning with her new family. And best of all...she gave me a beautiful poem that I will cherish forever. THAT is what weddings are all about.

We now have a new son-in-law that we like very much. And of course, our little "Ham-bone" as Pops calls him. What a nice addition to our family.

"A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short"
~Andre Maurois~

My Baby Is Getting Married!

I can't believe Megan is getting married on Saturday. It didn't hit me at first, but the closer it gets I'm starting to realize the separation you feel when your children marry. It's one thing when they move out, but another when you realize they are starting their own family and own traditions. Part of me feels a sense of pride and enjoyment to see her so happy. But another part of me feels a little anxious and sad that my baby is growing up.

I guess it's all part of raising your children. That is one of the hardest jobs I've ever had...but also the most rewarding.

~ Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands ~
-Anne Frank

Mimi & Pops

I could have never imagined how much fun it would be to have a grandchild. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my children...all four of them. Maybe it's being at a better place in my life, or maybe it's just seeing the fruits of "your" children. He is so much fun, but best of all, it is so rewarding to see your children raise children. Megan is a wonderful mother. What a great place to be in life.

It's SO much fun being Mimi & Pops!

Long Beach & Softball

We are in Long Beach at a medical conference. As pretty as it is here, I still miss Oklahoma. This morning we sat at a quaint little restaurant on the beach, watching seagulls swoop down and catch fish while enjoying each others company. Brett and I are used to speaking to everyone that walks by. As we walked along the beach, I said "good morning" to each passerby. Whether on roller-skates, bikes, or just a morning stroll - and no one will look you in the eye. It's weird, if that were Lake Hefner in OKC, not only would someone speak, you would probably have a 30 minute conversation before you finally got away to go on with your day. But good for Oklahomans! I get so frustrated, but yet proud, when we go out of state because I've never met people as friendly or non-judgmental as Oklahomans. Saying this, I also want to say how appreciative I am to have the opportunity to travel. We have been so fortunate these past few years to have the chance to experience all the people and places we've been. And most of the time, they have been company sponsored trips - which is even better! I'm not saying I would never want to live someplace other than Oklahoma, I'm just not sure I could get used to the cool, at a distance, mannerisms that we have experienced during most trips. It's funny, we continue to say hello, good morning, have a nice day - and then walk away and snicker a little at the weird stares we receive. Hopefully we have just shown a little compassion or made someone feel good.

I am attaching a few pictures from Long Beach. We are staying at a really nice hotel overlooking the beach. Today I sat out by the pool and read a book...not a bad days work :)

On another note - Sierra had her first softball game last Monday. This is her first year to play softball, while most of her teammates have been playing for several years. When we arrived for the game on Monday, the coaches (Brett is helping coach) realized that we have been put into the wrong league. Our girls are 8-9 yrs old and they put us in a 9-10 year old league. Not only were the girls bigger, they threw the ball around the field. This may not mean anything to you, but our girls have been taught NOT to throw the ball at this age, to stop it and run to the appropriate base...which they are very good at. So it was a little intimidating to show up and watch the other team warm-up. As Sierra stood in the on-deck circle waiting to bat, I looked over and realized she was crying. With Brett on one-knee talking to her, I actually think I saw a tear roll down his face feeling the pain for Sierra. The coach, Pat, told her to let the first one go by. Oh, did I mention, this is her first year and it is machine pitch?? She was such a trooper...she got in the batters box, pulled the bat back, wiped a tear from her face, and let the first ball go by. The second ball went by and Sierra swung the bat and missed. She took a deep breath, pulled the bat back again, and BOOM, she hit the third pitch and ran to first base! With her daddy coaching first base, the bench went crazy. Brett was so proud of her...along with the rest of us. The pressure was off. Sierra could breathe again and just play and have fun. I actually overheard her later in the dugout tell one of the girls she was the first one to hit a homeroom. haha She actually hit a single, but ended up scoring later from several base hits. Daddy's little girl is quite the athlete. And the nice thing is, she had a blast with her friends. Sometimes I think it's more difficult on the parents, than it is on the children playing. At least it was for me when Brandon played.

And so it begins, again...practice, games and a lot of fun watching your children participate. Seems like I just did this.

KB

The Warrior

For the past 3 weeks, Life Church has been studying a series called The Warrior. This series mainly focuses on men, but also touches women as well. This past weekend, Craig spoke on The Wounded Warrior and the relationship between a father and his son. It was very interesting to me as I listened to Craig preach and reference verses from the bible. I've never really looked at our relationship with our human father, and how it relates to our relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Two things that really hit me...

(God) will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers...Malachi 4:6

The Warrior who is starved for his/her father's approval is sentenced to a prison of performance.

Brett and I have had many conversations lately about the loss I felt after I quit my job. Now I realize it was because I put my worth in what I do, instead of who I am. But the interesting thing about the topic on Sunday is we had just had a talk with the kids Thursday evening about this very subject.

With Pierce on Brett's lap and Sierra on mine, Brett asked Sierra, why she thinks we (her parents) love her? She responded with, "because I'm smart." Pierce raised his hand and said, "because I am your son and she is your daughter." I've had the feeling for a long time that Sierra puts a lot of her worth in what she does. This explains why the first thing she always tells us is how good she does in math, how smart she is, and her very competitive nature. We have been concerned about that so we decided to have a family meeting and discuss it. Bingo...she said just what we were thinking. We explained to the kids that no matter what they do, we will never love them any less. If they do something bad, or make a bad grade in school, we will be disappointed, and there may even be consequences, but we won't love them any less. But on the other hand, if they do well in school, finish first in rocket math, we won't love them any more than we already do. They can not earn our love through the things they do. He told them what is important is their character. How they treat each other, and how they treat other people. We related it to our Heavenly Father...and how he loves us no matter what we do. He is disappointed when we do bad, but he still loves us. They were both very talkative, asking questions (especially Pierce :), but also I think very enlightened. I actually think a lot of pressure was lifted from Sierra. The next morning as we were driving to school she told me she thought it was really neat what daddy said to her last night.

Funny thing was, this was the exact sermon Craig preached Sunday at church. It was a little eerie that some of the things he said were almost word-for-word what Brett said to the kids Thursday evening.

From our talk notes:
* I believe in you.
* I am proud of you.
* No matter what, I'll ALWAYS love you.

And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." Matthew 3:17

And last - The Warrior's Richest Compliment or Most Painful Insult
* You are just like your Father.

We discussed this after church and Brett feels very blessed to have a humanly father that was/is a great role model. That relationship has prepared him to be a father, and also has prepared him for his relationship with his Heavenly Father.

As for our four children...I can honestly say I'm not sure they could have a better role model than Brett. He has a good heart and wants only the best for them. Is he perfect? No. And he would be the first to tell you that. Does he care enough to sit his children down and have this conversation? Absolutely! It was one of those great teaching moments that you will never forget. And you can only hope they won't either.

KB

Life lessons

It's been a while since we've posted anything. Not because we didn't have anything to say, mainly because our lives are so fast and furious we seldom have time.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and one thing that really astounds me is why some people look for confrontation. I'm not one that likes confrontation, ask Brett, it's probably something I need to work on. I avoid it at all costs. But it just seems like some people aren't happy, unless they are unhappy. Do you know what I mean? Every situation is magnified. Instead of looking at the positive side, or even giving people the benefit of doubt, it's always assumed you are doing something to them. I don't understand that. Maybe it is an insecurity, or maybe it is just the way they were raised. Whatever the reason, I feel like life is too short to live unhappy all the time. Maybe that comes with age and dealing with those circumstances throughout life. You finally begin to realize how small, in the scheme of things, those things really are. I'm not saying I never blow anything out of proportion, we're all human. But I do think age and life experiences help us understand how to handle those situations when they happen.

It's unfortunate that we have to spend our 20's and sometimes 30's finding out the "hard" way. Wouldn't it be nice to be born with the knowledge to deal with problems or know how to handle conflict? But then again, how boring if we were all just alike. That's why they invented asprin. :)

~Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win~